3 Do’s and Don’ts of Helping Someone Who Has Lost a Loved One

Dealing with the loss of a loved one can be difficult, but it can also be hard to watch someone you love deal with losing someone important to them. You want to be able to do whatever you can to help them get through their tough time and feel better. When it comes to interacting with those who are grieving, note these three do’s and don’ts that might give you a greater understanding of how to emotionally be there for them.
 

Losing someone close to you can be very hard mentally, emotionally, and even physically

Do #1: Acknowledge the Situation

It can be helpful to acknowledge the situation to help open up a dialogue. You want the person to know you are aware of what happened, and are there for them if they want to talk about it.¹ It can create a safe environment where your friend or family member might feel more comfortable to express how they are feeling about what is going on.¹
 

Don’t #1: Force Them to Talk About It

With that being said, it’s important you don’t try and force anything out of them.¹ They will talk when they choose to talk. Sometimes people need a moment to process the activities that have occurred before they can speak on them. The important thing is to be prepared to sit in silence, as it sometimes comforting to have someone just sit in the same room as you to feel less lonely.¹ Sometimes all that is wanted or needed is a hug or a hand squeeze to feel like someone is there for them.
 

Do #2: Help with the Day to Day Things

People tend to be busy and distracted after the loss of someone important. Especially if there is a whole family involved, it can’t hurt to ease some of the family’s responsibilities by bringing over a casserole or a dish of some sort.¹ Perhaps help them to make funeral arrangements, watch the kids, or help drive the family around to get to their everyday activities. Simple and small tasks can ease stress and make their lives just a little bit better as they have more time to focus on certain matters at hand, while they also feel the support of their friend or family.
 

Don’t #2: Assume Anything Based on Outward Appearance

Some people are able to put on a façade, looking great on the outside as they deeply struggle internally. It’s important not to assume how they feel based on their face value.¹ It’s best not to comment on the image they are presenting, as they might feel the pressure to keep it up, even when they feel like doing anything but.
 

Do #3: Understand Everyone’s Grieving Process is Different

 Grief doesn’t look the same for everybody.² It isn’t a five step linear path where you reach one step to get to the next. There is no right or wrong way to do it. It’s important to respect the different nature of everyone’s grievances and remember there isn’t a set time period they must heal within.
 

Don’t #3: Judge

It is usually best to not judge them for how they’re dealing with the situation.² They do not necessarily heal the same way you do. They may not be a crier, so don’t try and get them to cry, or on the other side of that, don’t think of them as a cry baby because they’re still sobbing months later.